Count your little blessings.

Bryce is the only one that made it to midnight this year. The little boys went to bed at their normal time and Aubrey passed out around 10 o'clock. Bryce and I rang in the new year alone while Daddy was at work. We toasted with sparkling grape juice and enjoyed conversation about Dick Clark, Times Square and random readings from Bryce's new Ripley's Believe It or Not book. It's amazing to me that I'm able to have an intelligent conversation with a seven year old. In addition to being my son, Bryce is also a great kid that I like a great deal!

As for resolutions, Bryce's goals for 2010 include building his own volcano and spending more time with his family, he told me with all seriousness. Aubrey followed suit and then quickly retracted "well...just Mommy. I see the boys all the time". The meaning of resolutions was lost on Dodge. He said he wanted chicken nuggets for lunch and to take a bath by himself. Caleb is unaware of his resolution of getting off the bottle finally! He might be the baby of the family but at 30 lbs, he looks quite ridiculous wielding a little baby bottle.

Watching the ball drop tonight I could only think of how amazingly blessed we have been this past year. Funny statement coming from the mom of a cancer kid, I know. I remember thinking the same thing a few years ago. I saw a mom whose family had relocated to North Carolina so their child could receive treatment at St. Jude. I was shocked that they were so "happy". I guess I always imagined that if something like that happened to me, I wouldn't be able to cope. I pictured myself, curled in a little ball, hateful and anxiety ridden. Thank goodness, that has not been an option! A strength that I was not aware that I possessed emerged this year, a strength that has allowed me to remain "happy" and to enable my children to remain happy, despite our circumstances.

We haven't had a very stable family life for the greater part of this year as a result of Dodge's diagnosis and treatment. So tonight as I was able to see all of my children at one time, I vividly remembered the first time that it occurred to me that we would never all be together again. I suppose that is an idea that one can toss around in their head with no emotional ramification. However, once it becomes a real possibility it's a feeling that haunts you until you refuse to let it haunt you any longer. For me personally, I think that fear of losing my family has transformed into such a profound appreciation for them. I am so grateful that we all made it this year, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. It's been a rough road but we're together and there really is no greater blessing.

Resolution

You are looking at my New Year's Resolution. Well, one of them at least. It has become all too apparent to me that throughout the course of my life, memories fade and our lives as they were ten, five or even two years ago become very foreign to us. I am hoping this blog will serve as a chronicle for the here and now that will soon become the past.

For all those that know my schedule and my inabilities to preform the most basic of duties (laundry, sleep, etc.) this may seem a waste of time. However, at the tail end of a very tumultuous year for our family, I think it is the perfect time to really reflect on the little things in our lives. I have learned throughout this year that sometimes the most everyday, insignificant details form us just as much as the ones that are undeniably life altering. This is mainly what you'll find in this blog: little league scores, height and weight reports, rants about laundry, memoirs of a toddler's vocabulary. While not terribly exciting, our family tends to entertain others. Hope you follow us in 2010!